• inboxity : Humorous

World`s Worst Pickup Lines

1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

2. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
OR:
I want to call your mother and thank her.

3. Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say "yes."]

4. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

5. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

6. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

7. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

8. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

9. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

10. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.

11. My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."

12. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

13. Can I flirt with you?

14. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

15. [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
OR:
Checking to see if you're the right size.

16. All those curves, and me with no brakes.

17. If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

19. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

20. [Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

21. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

22. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. [Cheese alert!]

23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

24. How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

25. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

26. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

27. So... How am I doin'?

28. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?

29. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.

30. Say, that's a nice [dress/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I talk you out of it?

31. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

32. I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.

33. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?

34. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.

35. (regard their outfit) Gee, that's becoming on you, if you wore me, I'd be coming on you too.

36. I've got the F, the C, and the K. now all i need is the U!

37. That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed.

38. Do you want to see something swell?

39. What do you like for breakfast?

40. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?

41. Say, didn't we go to different schools together?

42. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.

43. Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.

44. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

45. Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

46. Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the package it came in?

47.Hey baby! You look like you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

48. I've had quite a bit to drink, and your beginning to look pretty good.

49. I want to floss with your pubic hair.

50. I'd look good on you.

51. Excuse me. Have I fucked you yet?

52. Somebody farted! Lets get out of here.

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