• inboxity : Office

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: Company Policy

Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are
right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken.

After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company's bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders Category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Please attach it to the existing Handbook Management

Stumble Button Facebook Button Del.icio.us Button Digg Button Google Button

Tags: effective immediately company policy dress salary prada gucci money clothes raise toilet lunch minutes slim-fast

Top 20 new inboxity items

True friends Views: 28916
Funky Urban Underwear Views: 26320
Trycoxagain: New Drug for Depressed Lesbians Views: 34975
Happy New Year's Greetings Views: 18492
Top 10 Jamaican Positions Views: 44883
Jamaican Puppets - My Man Views: 16172
Lady Leave Me Alone I'm Married Views: 53916
You Better Come Get Santa Views: 24058
Backwoods Camping and Fishing Trip Views: 26682
Horny Donkey Rapes Man Views: 21154
Speed Sex Olympics Views: 23701
Human Blow Up Doll Views: 19124
World Cup 2010 Re-Match Germany vs Australia Views: 19073
When I was born I was so surprised Views: 25347
Woman Wakes Up to find Intruder in her Bed Views: 21927
Auto tuned news - Antoine Dodson Views: 10670
Powerful Camera Face Detection Feature Views: 15297
Funny Renault Clio Commercial Views: 12047
Proof that Women never Listen Views: 32204
Vacancy at the FBI Assassin Views: 25345

Views: 5307
Shared: 13 times

Rate this forward:

  • Currently 3/5 Stars.
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5

(11 Ratings)